So Are Successful Relationships still Possible? Prevalent?

As mentioned in the previous post, empathy and communication are key to a fruitful relationship. Empathy is provided by engaging in gender atypical tasks and communicating with the other person about the ordeals he or she faces. This directly ties into the significance of communication as seen in the song Schism by Tool. For more on this, refer to the previous posts that have been dedicated to the explanation of this song in detail.

Looking at the need for communication and how this works to provide empathy and hence a better relationship (as it leads to mature compromises, better division of labor) through complete understanding of the other person is dire proof that despite the frequency of broken relations in the world today, a successful, satisfying, quality relationship is still very much a reality. People do not believe in fairy tale love stories anymore. However, happy endings are still very much prevalent today if one knows where to look. I can draw on a very convincing example from my personal experiences.

Throughout my life, I have heard of broken relationships, seen friends with divorced parents and broken families. This is in complete contrast with my parents who have always been together and have continually been and are supportive and communicative. I have never seen them fight, but only have solution seeking discussions. It might also be interesting to note that they had an arranged marriage which lends more strength to the notion that communication and empathy are essential to a happy relationship. Ironically, my family has a lot of unequal division of labor but equal perceived division. My parents, to an extent, conform to conventional gender roles, while wildly breaking out of them as well. However, these unbalanced roles on both sides are surpassed by their strong communication, understanding, and empathy for each other so as to provide strength to their relationship rather than weaken it. This, in relation to the findings of the article provides more credibility to the idea that “men and women view marital satisfaction through a gendered lens. They attach different meanings to family labor and achieve marital satisfaction in different ways” (Wilkie et. al 593). Clearly, each of my parents functions differently and contributes in starkly contrasting ways to the family. But together, they achieve the end goal of providing a stable, supportive home for their children and themselves while enjoying an immensely satisfying relationship of long duration. They had numerous struggles themselves but found ways to get past them through communication, empathy, empowerment, and equity.

While all the examples aforementioned are not telling of everybody’s condition in society today, the findings mentioned in the article combined with the message of Schism substantiated by live example points to the haloed fact that working, successful, and satisfying relationships are possible and desired. All one needs is communication, agenda setting capability, sensitivity to the other’s feelings, and understanding to flourish.

Love "Schism"

Quite often, we come across broken relationships, heart - breaks, strained bonds and more. Why? Mostly because of strangled, broken, or no communication and myriad misunderstandings.

Schism by Tool is a song that is very close and important to me. Besides the brilliant trance-like music, the amazing vocals and put together unique sound of the song and band, the lyrics speak to me. The lyrics, as I mentioned in my previous blog post, talk about how relationships (of any kind) suffer when there is a gap in communication between the two parties involved. It also talks of the desire people have to blame and pinpoint mistakes instead of finding a solution. In this song, the singer detaches himself from his messed up relationship for a minute and tries to analyze what went wrong, when, and why. Then he also finds a way to remedy the concerning issues and reiterates his belief and complete conviction that the relationship is possible and workable if they choose to make it work.

The two most striking lines in the song are “I know the pieces fit” (confirming his faith and trust in the relationship as this is repeated over and over) and “cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion between supposed lovers.” These lines spoke to me the most as it highlighted that the “strangled” communication is the one of the major reasons in the breakdown of relationships even if the relationship is one very likely to succeed. I could apply this to my personal life due to some trials that I went through (during senior year of high school) with friends and family. Those were troubled times for me, but times of great learning. I gained a lot of self confidence, self esteem, common sense, and a renewed belief in the importance of maintaining the right kind of relationships in one’s life. Those lessons and many more are ones that I learned the hard way. Schism, however, made the journey a lot easier. Music speaks to me like no other medium and this one fit the bill exactly.

Love, Fate, Will, Life

This blog is dedicated to the love that all of us have and share in our lives. Not meaning to sound cheesy or corny or anything, but I am sure all of us have been through trials and triumphs in our lives and it's usually love that helps us endure and survive.
Besides seeing examples of love and family in action bound by trust, this blog will also explore the idea of fate and if it really has a role in determining where our lives take us. The notion of free will is a very strong and powerful concept, but it has been questioned innumerable times. I want to freely discuss this idea as it has befuddled my mind and is fuel for thought.
Lastly, this blog is meant to emphasize the beauty of life and the importance of happiness from the inside. I know this sounds like some self fulfillment, look inwards and reflect kind of deal - but it really is not. I am a person least likely to fall for such hooey, but I do believe there are bigger forces at work around us than ourselves. A little thought, a little slow-down of the pace of our daily lives, and just...living contently is all that is needed.